Nevermind

Apparently I just don't like to be touched. I crave it but then hate it when it happens. I seriously am a freak. A mood-swingy, unmotivated, doesn't know what she wants or needs crazy person. For reals. I believe that because I recognize and take ownership of my craziness, it helps people around me to not hate me. Maybe I'm deluding myself though and I really do annoy my friends and family as much as I'm afraid I do.

Went to the doctor and got happy pills. Again. Apparently since this is the third time I've had to do it, now I have to stay on them indefinitely and never be weaned off, according to my doctor. And she wants me to see a counselor which is fine because I've been thinking about doing that anyway. But how does one go about finding a counselor? Especially one who won't try and make me talk about why I should hate my parents, because I don't and I don't want to.

I hate that I'm here in my life again. It leaves me tired and wondering if it's really worth it.