I have a new goal and it is this: Learn to take compliments graciously...both externally AND internally.
It should be totally easy right? Wrong. When I get a compliment, my reaction is one of the following:
1. Brush it off and change the subject
2. Inform the person paying the compliment that they're mistaken and then offer "proof"
3. Tell the person paying the compliment that they are stupid (Seriously, I do this all the time - sometimes I tell them that they are "SO stupid")
4. Assume the person paying the compliment is insincere and totally ignore them
Actually, there's a couple of things that I am willing to be complimented on. First of all, my sense of humor. It's the one trait that I fully embrace and acknowledge to be fabulous. I know that I am pretty smart and also that I give pretty decent advice to friends and family in need of it.
I'm trying to think of more things that I'm willing to accept compliments about, but I'm coming up blank.
The reason this is on my mind is because there might be A Boy. We were getting along fabulously through text messaging and e-mails, and just when I had prepared myself to start talking to him on the phone and maybe even go on a date with him, he sent me a text message that began, "Hey Beautiful!" Ew. Ok, BESIDES the whole cheesy factor (which, c'mon, is HUGE here), my instant reaction to his stupid text message was to write him off as really desperate and/or socially retarded. Because in my mind, a normal, intelligent, un-desperate guy would never call me beautiful based on my looks. And he hasn't known me long enough to base it on my personality.
I know, I know, I have some MAJOR issues. Sorry you have to hear about this sad side of me. This blog has morphed into a place where I just post pictures and silly things, but it's original purpose was to serve as a sounding board and venting place. So even though more people read it now, and this is completely embarrassing to be writing about in a public forum, I'm putting it here.
Anyway, I don't know how I'm going to handle that boy. But in general, I recognize that I really need to start pretending to believe people when they compliment me, and maybe even eventually ACTUALLY believe them. I can smile and offer a sincere "thank-you" when kind words come my way. It will help me be a more positive person and easier to be friends with. Also (not that I have a lot of first-hand experience with this), I HEAR that when you date/marry someone, they should, like, love you or something and probably it's also good for them to TELL you that they love you and why. No one will do that if I never give them the chance to.
Ok, game on. Starting today. I'm going to be a gracious, compliment-accepting machine!
How can I still be single with this kind of natural beauty?
About Me
- Jessica
- This finally proves it...I have no shame. =) (In regards to my Storytime blog) For those of you visiting the 40datesin40days blog, here's a little about me. I'm 28 years old and a native of Vancouver (not B.C.) Washington (not D.C.). I moved to the Houston area two years ago. To be frank, part of my motivation for moving was to spice up my dating life. While I have met MANY wonderful people here, and have gone on a handful of fun dates with great boys, I still feel like I'm in a dating rut. When my wonderful girl friends invited me to participate in this project, I recognized instantly that it's JUST what I've been needing. I'm hoping to make some wonderful memories, meet a lot of high quality men, and gain some insight and confidence in the dating arena along the way. Thanks for sharing my journey with me. I hope you have as much fun observing as I have dating!
5 comments:
I TOTALLY had to train myself on this one too! I'm completely ok with my looks now, but let's just say that I had some ugly duckling tendencies until about mid to late high school...
Because my hair is so "unique" I've always had like the worst freak outs about it. I used to get teased and all that fun stuff, so when I actually learned how to take care of it and embrace it, it took me a long time to accept all the comments that I get about it. Most people are nice and say things like, "Oh your hair is so beautiful!" It definitely took me YEARS to actually believe that they meant it! Over the years, I've learned to enjoy it's uniqueness and even get anxiety when I think about possibly cutting it or doing anything drastic to it!
Ya join the club! So I think you shouldn't write him off yet...hey look at me I'm socially awkward and you gave me a chance.
Just give the cheeseball a chance! I think all women are the same way with compliments. You just got to start saying "thanks" and that's it. Its gracious and short and sweet!
So I deleted it because I felt bad... Jason brought some food home and a couple of cookies. And a coke. I have just been wanting to drink coke all the time lately. I haven't, but when I'm out (which is rare with the whole no car thing) I get so tempted to buy a can and sometimes I just say screw it and go for it! So the cookies and coke were enough of a bribe for me. And now you know my secret rant!
Venus Embrace. Maybe you'll have to teach me your crying trick and like the grinch my heart will grow a couple sizes and I'll cry at the little things. Maybe.
There are pictures on there of me wearing it, but Jason is my photographer so its kind of zoomed in. What can ya do?!
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