Thursday, February 05, 2009

Life Update

Well I'm sorry about that last (apparently totally unacceptable) post. Haha. I know I'm a huge blog-slacker on BOTH of my blogs, but it's hard to feel like you have any good material when you don't have husbands or cute kids to talk about all the time. Here's an update on the life of a single, female, 25 year old student...

The "Boy" I talked about in my "I suck at accepting compliments" post disappeared. Well, not by his choice. He tried to call me and text me once more after the whole Hey Beautiful fiasco, but I just never responded. I maybe, might have not responded because his voice was high pitched and weird sounding. I know, I'm totally judgmental and rude but hey, that's my prerogative!

I am now attending what was supposed to be my last semester of college but I absolutely hated one of my classes so I dropped it. That means I'll still have 6 weeks after this semester, but it's just one class so I'm not too worried about it. Honestly the idea of not being in school anymore freaks me out a little which I was not expecting. But with graduation comes real adulthood, and student loan debt! I'm not even really sure if I'll be able to find a good job but I'll figure it all out I guess.

I'm still living in the mansion and watching Jessie. I'm also still T.A.'ing and working at the Physical Therapy Office. Now I watch my friends' 4 month old every Friday too. And I'm the choir director in church. The truth is that all of these things are VERY, VERY part time, but I secretly really love listing them all off, preferably without taking a breath, because it makes people think I'm some sort of super-woman who can take the whole world on successfully. Really though, I'm still the same old, lazy, slacker-ish Jess I've always been. I'm just better at disguising it now.

I have officially begun attending the single's ward again. Surprisingly it's been much better this time around. Going to a counselor MUST have been at least a little helpful, because I find that I'm not nearly as socially anxious as I used to be. I've been able to talk to several new people comfortably. One guy even asked for my number, and he wasn't even mentally retarded! I've eye-balled a couple of boys who seem cute and normal so maybe I'll try being bold and manipulate one or more of them into asking me out on dates. I fully realize that it's stupid and lame to mention the single's ward and then dating prospects in the same paragraph, but I'm not gonna lie, meeting boys is the only reason I switched. I'm now officially One of Those Mormon Girls on the hunt for a man...a walking cliche. But whatev.

Speaking of boys, I am madly in love with one. It's the feet guy from the last post. He's been causing all sorts of drama in my life for the last few months without meaning to. He is one of my best friends, sometimes THE best friend. He's good and smart and fun and even good-looking. So what's the problem? There's only two:

One. He's not Mormon. Don't judge me, it's not a problem for's a problem for him. He knows lots of us silly LDS people, and he's aware of the whole "if you don't get married in the temple, you're only married 'til death do you part" belief we have, and since he has no intention of becoming Mormon himself he would never even think of trying to date me because he's so noble and crap. Gag.

Two. I have, yet again, firmly entrenched myself in "friend mode" with the kid. (I totally suffer from Buddy-itis, and have for many years. If any of you find a pill to cure it, send it my way please.) He's not attracted to me one iota as far as I can tell. And ok, I realize that I'm far from a perfect 10 on the looks scale, but I think I'm cute enough for him. Maybe. Besides that though, I'm everything he's ever wanted in a girl. I know it because, as one of his best friends, it's been my pleasure to listen to him discuss everything he's looking for in a future love interest. But for some reason, he just only sees me as his friend. One of his closest, and probably THE best girl friend, but that's all. I tried to have "the talk" with him last weekend and worked myself up to just flat out tell him how I feel. It didn't really work out the way I planned though. I at LEAST said enough stuff that hinted at my true feelings that he'd have to be a COMPLETE MORON not to know what's been going on with me, but he's still pretending that he has no idea why I've been acting all crazy and jealous and yes, even a little clingy, lately. So I guess I just have to re-train my brain and heart to be content with our friendship (which I'm TOTALLY grateful for) because I guess it's never going to be anything more.

Boo, that was depressing. I'll end on a better note that's related to loving that boy. So, if you read my Story blog, you'll know that I haven't had the best luck at trying to woo boys using food. But my friend was having a really bad day right before Christmas, so I decided to anonymously take him some delicious cookies. Of COURSE he would figure out that they were from me and it would carve out a little space in his heart for me, right? Wrong.

First I made the cookies. They were peanut-butter cookies with Hershey's kisses stuck on top when they came out of the oven. I used a recipe I hadn't ever tried before and I'm not gonna lie, the cookies were not as delicious as I had hoped for. But I figured he wouldn't be picky (plus I was too lazy to mix up another batch of dough) so I decided to forge ahead with the plan anyway. I took my sister with me to his house and made her place a plateful of cookies on his doorstep. They were covered in foil, and I had written "Merry Christmas" on the foil. We drove away, me with a big smile on my face thinking how happy it made me to perform anonymous service. Even if he didn't figure out it was me who had done it, the warm fuzzy feeling would be enough reward for me!

Several hours later, I got a text message from him about, well I don't remember what about but it didn't involve cookies. We started talking via text and eventually he wrote, "Hey, did you leave some cookies on my doorstep earlier today?" YES! My plan was working! I replied, "Well, I might have done that, yes." I sent the message and giddily waited for his text message which would be full of gratitude for the cookies, but even more for my kind heart and maybe then he'd tell me that this gesture made him realize his True Feelings for me and that he was coming over right away with some flowers and love poems I had inspired.

"Oh, well stuff left on our doorstep without a name on it makes my mom really nervous." is what appeared on the screen of my phone instead.

"Oh, so you haven't eaten any of them?"

"Nope, but I'll go ahead and have one now."

"Uh, I'm sorry. Yeah, they're from me. Make sure that your mom and brother get some too. I'm so sorry I didn't put my name on them but I promise they're safe to eat."

Now I was just embarrassed. The cookies weren't even that good in the first place, and now they were all stale because his mom thought some weirdo had left poisoned treats on her doorstep.

"Um, are these peanut butter cookies?"

"Yeah they are."

"Oh, well my brother is allergic to peanuts. But thanks."

STRIKE THREE. I may have well left poisoned cookies on his doorstep, since eating just one would have swelled his brother's throat shut and killed him. That probably wouldn't have helped my chances of marrying my friend at all.

Ay ay ay. If the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, I'm totally screwed because I'm racking up a TERRIBLE track record with attempts to make sweet treats for boys I'm interested in.

Ha, I think I'm really funny. All right, I'll end here. I'll try to update this thing more often but I'm not making any promises. You all haven't been writing as much as you used to either though, so don't get too snippity with me (a-hem, Jeanette!) lol. Good night!


Carri Collins Weaver said...

That was kind of rude of HIM! You don't learn that you got cookies from a friend and then complain about them, you should have told him off!

Karin said...

I totally agree, that I would never tell someone that made me some cookies that my little brother couldn't eat them because of a key ingredient. Most people would just say, "Thank you for the lovely cookies" and leave it at that. My opinion? That boy was lame anyway!

Jessica said...

Oh no! Lol, that story was supposed to be FUNNY, not a reason for you to hate my friend. I PROMISE he's not a jerk. He told me several times after that how much he liked the cookies and that he ate the whole plateful. He's just overly honest like I am and that's why he told me about his mom and brother, but if he thought it would hurt my feelings he never would have said anything.

Ha, it cracks me up that I never even considered that his reaction was kind of rude. Well, it's good to know the girls in my life have my back.

Jeanette said...

Um first of all I think I keep up with my blog quite well, Nina and I are like the best bloggers in the family! I am even blogging right now from a hospital bed.... about to have a baby, so what now?!

Are these true stories? Does your friend read your blog?

You'll find a guy soon that you love and loves you soon enough, but if you think it will help I'd be glad to do a mini makeover when you come to visit, if you ever come to visit.... My hair lady is super good, it could be fun!

Limasa Family said...

Oh goodness I am totally dying laughing so hard that Dylan got upset thinking I was crying AGAIN. Poor kid has a wreck of a mother. But seriously "My mother doesn't feel comfortable with anonymous doorstep cookies" like WTF A. You live in mormon country and she needs to get sued to free doorstep shit. No joke I get surprised if I open my door and there ISN'T free food (or other miscellaneous crap) sitting at my feet! B. Why does he live with his mom ANYWAY!? C. This douche better start appreciating you and your tained cookies or I'm gonna drive out there and slap him!

Limasa Family said...

Omg I just saw your defense comment of him and laughed even harder because you totally LOVE the little goober who has the crazy mom and sickly brother! This post makes me love you more than I ever thought I would! Ha! You are one funny HO. No wonder you can't find a mormon guy, you're too cool and independently thinking for them.

Carmen said...

oh wow, I don't think I ever knew you were so funny! So you know how they always say that when you stop looking for someone it will magically happen that someone will find you...I totally DON'T agree. I just looked all the time and rarely got asked out but I managed to meet someone I liked anyway. So I say you keep going to the single's ward...but you have to break out of the shy shell just a tad and you'll get asked out like crazy. seriously...

Emily said...

I know this is from Feb, so it's prob not even still going on, but I just wanted to say two things-
1. To get out of the buddy-itis thing, you need to think about sex
2. Austin says that a way to a man's heart is not through food, but through his wiener- so yeah...(sorry to anyone offended by this)

Emily said...

Hey Jess- Thanks for your cute comments on my blog- I love you and miss you sooo much too!! I wish you lived next door to me! I want to hear all about the boy stuff!! You can email me or facebook me- i'm getting better about that stuff- I hope that boy is treating you good! You deserve the BEST! When are you coming here again!? Please be soon! Austin says he misses you too and loves you too! And Macy- though she doesn't know it yet =) Anyways- lets talk soon! I want all the juicy details!