Gnashing of Teeth

So here's another reason I think I might (may?) be crazy. Sometimes if someone isn't willing to punish me for my bad choices, I will inflict self-punishment instead. I did this last week in my psychology class. We have had to write two papers so far this semester, and I turned the first paper in late. I talked to the professor about it and she graciously gave me full points even though it states in the syllabus that we will be docked 5 points/day that a paper is late. When I was writing the second paper, I waited until the last minute to start and then got really frustrated because I couldn't find all the resources I needed and so I didn't get it finished on time. I was going to e-mail the teacher and ask her for some more guidance, but since I had turned in the first paper late without penalty I did not want her to give me full points again. Before I got the chance to contact her, she e-mailed me and said that I could turn it in late again with no penalty.

And so I just never turned it in. I finished it but didn't give it to her. I don't want to feel like I am manipulating someone in order to get special favors and so I punished myself since she wasn't willing to do it.

Today my biology professor handed back a paper I had written for that class. I thought I had done well on the paper and so I was surprised to get it back with A LOT of red ink all over it. Now, I have gotten several bad grades in the past due to laziness...I don't show up to class enough or I just don't turn in assignments, but when I do my work, I do it very well. And so that red ink caused my blood pressure to rise just a little. But then when I read the comments, my blood started to BOIL!

-side note- I am writing this in my school's computer lab while I wait for a friend, and someone in here keeps letting out the most rancid farts and it is grossing me out AND making me laugh too

Ok, back to the subject, I got docked points because my paper wasn't detailed enough. My paper wasn't detailed enough because it was limited to one page, and I had written it double-spaced (what teacher nowadays asks for single spaced??). Now, when I was writing the paper I remember getting frustrated because I kept having to edit and re-edit my information to get it down to the bare minimum so it would fit on one page. So my professor took away enough points to make my grade an 85% (I know, not awful...but I would have gotten 100% if I hadn't misunderstood the directions) and then, to add insult to injury she wrote "you need to use single space - don't use double to hide that there isn't a full page here."

I have never in my life tried to manipulate the format of my paper to hide the fact that I didn't have enough information. Like I said before, either I don't do my work at all or I do it really well. I was pissed all through class!

Mad at one teacher for punishing me unjustly and equally annoyed with another for not punishing me when it was deserved. I am a freak.