Well I have been especially short tempered, easily annoyed and prone to tears the last week or so. I also have been losing motivation fast to attend my classes and do any schoolwork. I'm 85% sure it's directly linked to what time of the month it is, but I'll know for sure in just over a week. I really hope it's that and not the onset of another bout with depression. Sometimes it's really hard to tell the difference.
I went to Tacoma last night to my favorite cousin's wedding open house. (He got married in North Carolina last week.) I like his new wife. It's always nice to see two people fall in love and get married who really "match." He reassured me that my turn would soon follow and it made me laugh that he thought celebrating his marriage would make me mourn my own lack of marriage prospects. (It didn't, by the way. Surprisingly sometimes I can think of others without thinking of myself too, haha.)
Before travelling to Tacoma yesterday, I attended my first ever Super Saturday for Relief Society. The ladies in charge even made me "teach" a class making vertical boards with wood blocks and wood letters that said "Ho Ho Ho." They were all cut out so everyone just painted the peices and glued them together. Of course mine was the worst of the bunch, but I just pretended it wasn't and bossed everyone on how to make their own anyways, haha. Is it bad that while we were making the boards I was laughing to myself because of something I heard in high school? A friend of mine back then told me about a school spirit assembly in which she and some others were ramping up the student body for that night's football game against a rival high school. One of their methods was to put on santa hats and shout "Everyday is Christmas at (insert name of rival school here). Ho ho ho." It was widely known that this particular school's student body was more permiscuous than usual, even to the point of needing a daycare IN the highschool. And since I heard that story I have never been able to think of Santa's refrain without giggling a little to myself, even at church activities.
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And now it's two days later. I am tired. I wonder if I'm too selfish with my time to ever be a good mother. Brain too tired for further explanation or musing on the subject. Good night.
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