Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Another Texas Tale

I bet you think I broke my commitment, don't you? Well, I didn't. I spent over 2 hours writing potential blog posts the other night, but in the end they all came across as really rude or boring. So I hit delete and went to bed. There's a story I want to write out about one girl in particular here in TX, but when I try to describe her I just can't get it right. I think I was trying to give way too much info and background, so I'm going to try it again but keep it short and simple* this time, and hopefully not come across as too rude or judgemental. (*Disclaimer: Jessica + short-n-simple is usually an oxymoron, so just know I mean relatively short and simple)

Girl: 5'2 or 5'3ish, very blonde, huge smile, gives off a wholesome yet silly/flirty vibe, overall the type you just want to put into your pocket when you first see her. She tends to make boys drool a little. She will be referred to as "Bambi" from here on out.

Setting: FHE (The same one as the "scoot over" and "seaward" incidents. It was a big night for me.) A lesson on charity had just been given. The floor was opened up to comments. Bambi NEVER passes up an opportunity to comment or talk at church.

Bambi's comment (as best as I can recall):

So while you were talking, I came up with a list of things in my head that I want to share with everyone. (Sidenote: This intro clued me in right away that I was about to be amazed. Continuing on.) First of all, once I went to a psychiatric ward. As a volunteer, of course! Anyway, I met this man who was admitted because he was such a negative person. He was really unhappy because his wife was going to leave him because he was SO negative and he judged everyone he came across. He was so discouraged that he couldn't change, so I gave him some advice that I think we can all use. I told that man, "When you see someone and feel the urge to judge them, just tell yourself, 'Don't judge, love! Don't. Judge. LOVE!'...

I started laughing to myself at this point and then I got the list of possible FHE group names, so I was distracted for the next 5 minutes of her comment. I tuned back in to hear this:

...and a big part of charity is forgiveness. Now I've learned a lot about forgiveness and I hope that y'all can learn from my experiences instead of having to learn the hard way yourselves. So, I was a young widow at age 20, and then I got remarried at age 22. I went to the temple and was sealed. Two hours after my sealing for time and all eternity, my husband told me he hated my guts and wished he had never married me. I think maybe he got cold feet or something. But anyway that was the hardest thing I've ever gone through, but I did forgive him and now we talk all the time, like every week. And I also give him advice and set him up with girls all the time! So I was able to forgive him and...

I tuned her out again at this point, and didn't hear any of the rest of her comments and advice. I was flabbergasted as I looked around the room, expecting to see people holding back laughs, or rolling their eyes, or maybe just looking confused. But no, all I saw were people nodding their heads and smiling, as if what this girl was saying was completely normal and, gosh oh gee, she really DID know all about charity and was really a wise little pixy!

I just don't get it. Have all my years in the Pacific Northwest turned me into a stone cold meanie? Am I completely jaded, or just looking for things to criticize? No, after thinking about it a lot, I would really like to think that MY reaction was not the strange one in that room on Monday night. The only thing that I can't figure out is WHY all those people seem to think that Bambi's comments are the greatest thing since sliced bread. I mean, granted she is VERY nice and sweet, and I really do believe that she means well with all of her strange stories and advice. But you can think someone is nice, and heck, even like them a lot, yet be able to recognize that sometimes the things they say are just plumb crazy.

So here are my 3 possible conclusions. Maybe you all can let me know which is/are the most probable in this case:

1. Other people DID think what she was saying was really TMI and a little self-righteous, and a lot strange. However, they are all just much better actors than me, and have more self-control over their eye-rolling and jaw-dropping reflexes.

2. Texans just expect people to ramble on about really personal things in their testimonies and comments? In Texas, you aren't spiritual unless you can back it up with evidence from your life, even if the evidence isn't very convincing?

3. Beautiful people can say dumb crap as much as they want and no one cares, because they're just so pretty. (I don't know whether I'd narrow this down to Texas, I think it may be a country-wide epidemic.)

So there you have it folks. Let me know how terrible and mean and judgemental I really am. Maybe Texas will make a kinder, gentler (more boring?) Jessica out of me yet, if I spend enough time here to let it.


Karin said...

First of all, your previous post had me literally laughing out loud. I've never been to Texas, but your stories are making me think that I would have a hard time fitting in!

SO, this little girl decided to disclose two of her brief marriages in front of how many people?? This does not sound normal to me at all! Maybe there is a 4th option here - maybe she just talks so much all the time that others have gotten used to tuning her out and they just didn't hear what she what saying?

Please don't stop posting your Texan adventures. I must have more!!

{cody.amber.chandler} said...

I think you hit the nail on the head with conclusions #1 and #3. It seems like the prettiest people are often the dumbest, but people (particular males) are too distracted by all the "prettiness" to actually pay attention to the senselessness coming out of their mouths (obviously I'm not bitter or anything ;) I also like conclusion #4 above from Karin Ü